Tired But Good!

I just got home from work and I am bushed! I normally work from home, but I'm doing a seasonal job in retail part time to make some extra bucks. I am not used to being on my feet all day, but I like getting out of the house, it's fun.

Here's my food for today:

Breakfast
1/3 cup (dry) steel cut oats
1/2 Granny Smith
raisins
1/3 banana
1 TBL peanut butter

Lunch:
1 cup smooshed boiled potatoes
1/2 cup chick peas
handful spinach
1/2 oz cheddar
heated up and covered with Texas Pete

Snack:
One Nature's Valley Peanut Butter Granola Bar
one cup Plain Almond Breeze

Dinner is going to be:
3/4 cup spanish rice
1/2 cup mixed black & kidney beans
some rotel tomatoes
1 cup ish broccoli

Snack will be...
Something! I'm very easily going to come in under 1700 calories for the day, yay!

Still feeling great...

I feel GGGGRRREAAT!

I feel great, but not because of eating any Frosted Flakes. Remember those commercials with Tony the Tiger? He's probably a diabetic now. Speaking of sugary cereals - did you hear that it's now been proven, conclusively, that the cereals that are most devoid of nutrients and contain the most sugar are the ones that are the most heavily marketed to children? Sickening.

Why do I feel great? Well, my run this morning for one. I'm training for a half marathon and recently joined the gym. I don't have a Garmin and it's hard for me to know how fast and how far I'm going, so I thought the treadmill would help with that. Not to mention it's getting colder and colder. Today I ran about 3 miles mixed in with some walking and I also did some "hill" or incline work on the treadmill. I was a hot sweaty mess by the end, but my energy level ever since then has been great.

I'm also on a high because of my decision to just allow myself to eat whatever the heck I want, knowing I prefer healthy foods and good fuel for my training, whenever I'm hungry. Yes, I have set a calorie goal of 1700 a day, with hopes that every 3 weeks or so I'll lose ten pounds. I don't need this to be fast. I think that's part of what always derails me. I want to lose twenty pounds, NOW. I'm completely changed that. I want to lose ten pounds in 13 weeks. And maybe more later, but lets just see where that gets me.

I always get the huge sense of relief when I make peace with food, but for some reason I tend to get off track, usually because I think I need to lose more weight, now. I'm ready to get off that crazy train.

So far I'm at 900 calories and have my evening meal (which will be eaten super early, because I have to go to my part time job at 5) and evening snack (once I get home from work) all planned out. I can easily and happily subsist on 1700 cals today.

See Ya!

October 28

Phew, I worked my ass off this morning. The crazy thing is I burned about 400 calories and was sweating buckets...and I can eat 400 calories in two minutes! It's really all about the food, isn't it?

I did eat my breakfast as outlined last post, but it ended up only adding to 320 calories based on the amount of fruit in it. That's okay. I don't care if my calories come in under 1700, just over.

Also, today I set the intention for myself to go 40 days without binge eating. It's been a struggle for me for four or five years now. I've gone 30 days before, but usually do it once a week or so. I want to go longer. I intend to get myself free from my crazy relationship with food!

Plan for Oct 28, 2009

Goal: Eat roughly 1700 cals per day, run 4 days per week, cross train two days per week, strength train two days per week, eat intuitively without emotionally eating, lose ten pounds in 13 weeks.

My plan for October 28, 2009

Run three miles, including hills (on treadmill)

Breakfast: 1/3 cup steel cut oats, 1/2 banana, 1/2 apple, raisins (380 cals)
Lunch: Pear & Gorgonzola salad, no dressing (450 cals)
Snack: Tablespoon Peanut Butter on sprouted raisin toast (175 calories)
Dinner: Small sweet potato, 3/4 cup Spanish Rice, Asparagus (275)
Snack: 1/2 cup oats, Tbl peanut butter, 1/2 banana, raisins (350)

Total: 1630 calories (~70 calories can be added somewhere if needed)

I believe I can.

I started this blog because I thought writing every day would keep me accountable. But, amazingly, over the last couple of weeks I haven't needed any outside source to keep me accountable.

I am doing very, very well. At home I've been mostly maintaining a plant based and low fat diet, though Friday night it was POURING and we decided to make pizza at home; I ate pizza with a white crust and cheese, the horror! :) Actually, it was great; I only ate two little pieces and had a salad with it. I made brownies, too, but didn't even have a piece that night. I'm starting to feel a little slimmer - that wasn't my goal in giving up dieting, but I figured if I stopped the restrict and binge cycle I'd drop some weight - and that feels good.

How did I do on vacation? Wonderful. I pretty much gave up the idea of trying to eat the way I do at home, and it was just fine. Our first night there (after eating the way I do at home all day) we were starving and at the last minute decided on pizza. Again, I ate a couple of pieces with a salad, and had a glass of wine, and that was it for me. We ate out a few times and I ate some things I wouldn't consider "healthy", but I was fine. We found a great breakfast place where he could get what he wanted and I could get a huge fruit plate with melon and pineapple and banana and grapes and kiwis and yum!

Somehow things have shifted a bit for me. I know that when I'm feeling my healthiest mentally I want to eat a low-fat and plant based diet. But I'm not going to try to do that for every single meal of my life. If we go out to eat and I want something different, that's what I'll get. The difference, though, is that I haven't been getting upset and anxious over eating something outside of my "plan". That is what always led to my downfall - if I ate outside of what I was supposed to, I got really nervous and sort of excited and would end up going waaaaay overboard.

I haven't even wanted to do that lately, with the exception of one night when I was sort of bored and stuff, but I cut it off quickly. I know I feel my best when I don't eat past a certain point, and I want to feel good! Also, like I said, I think I've dropped a couple of pounds, and I don't want to yo yo back to where I was.

So, things are good. I'll keep writing when it seems important, but I realized I can keep myself accountable without any other tool. Because I WANT to. I want to feel good. I want to eat a healthy diet. So often people will say life is too short and we should enjoy this or that that isn't necessarily good for us. I get that, and agree that I don't want to completely limit myself, but at the same time, we've taken that idea much, much too far in this country. Every meal is an over indulgence in some cases, and that's not what I want for myself. And honestly, food that is whole and healthy is DELICIOUS. Yesterday I baked a butternut squash and ate a piece of it along with a cooked honey crisp apple - OMG. It was so good, and after I didn't feel sick, full, or sugary.

That being said - I'm going out to breakfast this morning and plan on ordering the whole wheat pancakes with hot cooked apples. It will be delicious!

Have a great day!

Phew

Hi there!

Tuesday. Back at work for most people, but I worked yesterday anyways! I have been working all day today, too, on a book project. Editing, writing, formatting. Realizing how thankful I am for automatic spell check, that kind of thing.

Food is still awesome. I really feel like a yo-yo or a see saw or something. Again, I'm noticing when I'm in this mode it is SO EASY to keep eating this way. When I see my man eating junk food at night I have no desire to partake. Very odd.

We shall see what happens when I am out of my normal routine, however! I won't be blogging at all over the long weekend, but I'll be back with a full report, for the three of you out there who actually read this.

Interestingly, I just got a newsletter from this woman who does this thing called "First Ourselves" that spoke to that exact problem, dealing with food on vacation. The woman, Karly, actually is completely sugar free and eats a very different diet than me in some respects, but she's had food issues and has struggled with weight, so I relate to her. Anyways, her newsletter mentioned that she'd gone on vacation and was feeling the need to plan, plan, plan. She wanted to plan for working out, plan for her eating, pack snacks, etc.

Instead she just had faith that she would be fine. She said she experienced some amazing things just expecting that she'd be okay, and listed many examples of things she would have missed out on had she planned the way she originally intended to.

I am so glad I got this newsletter when I did, because I'm going to copy her action plan! Of course I'll exercise, but it will be walks on the beach and in Charleston, not intensely planned sweaty stuff (probably). I will bring some healthy foods to cook and/or eat in our rental condo, like oat bran and fruit, but I'm not going to freak out and try to bring my whole kitchen. I have faith that I can make smart choices and that what I need can be found.

I feel really good with everything I've accomplished the last 4 or 5 days, both work wise and eating wise.

How do you handle vacation eats and workouts?

Is Eating Healthy a Diet?

Happy Labor Day! I work from home, so I'm actually going to do some work today, but it's all fun stuff. My sweetheart is working, too, but on Thursday we're off for a long weekend, yay!

This morning, for the fourth day in a row, I had a nice big bowl of oat bran. Today I topped it with strawberries; other days I've eaten it plain and had some fruit a little later. My lunches have consisted of brown rice and veggies with low sodium soy sauce or left over vegetarian Shepherd's Pie. Snack have been fruit, organic whole grain cereal, sweet potatoes, oatmeal. Dinners have been similar to lunches.

I feel great. When I eat well my skin clears up (I struggle with Rosacea), I feel good, I'm regular. But is eating healthy putting myself on a diet? For instance, I've been avoiding dairy, partially because it's expensive (because we buy the organic stuff) and partially because I don't believe it's that good for me. So when I go on my trip, do I have to continue to avoid dairy? Only if I want to. I believe the trap that I fall into over and over again is eating healthy with the intention of losing weight. Also, often times when I'm on a healthy "diet" I tend to tell myself I CAN'T eat anything that's not on said diet. But that's just not going to work. Do I feel my best when I'm eating clean? Of course. But if I want a treat and can enjoy it, rather than shoving it down my throat, followed by six more servings because I feel so guilty about eating the treat, my life will be much better.

So right now I'm eating very well and feeling very wonderful. Truthfully, this is the way I'd like to eat for the majority of my meals. However, I do want to find a balance that will work for me, permanently. I went vegan about three and a half years ago and was miserable - it was so hard to find food when I was out and about. However, I was also in a really unhappy relationship and was already using food to deal with my emotions, so I was also eating lots of vegan junk food and was definitely not eating clean.

I can definitely stick to this without feeling deprived - I'm eating six times a day and am never hungry (okay, I get hungry every few hours, but then I eat plenty). I just need to keep my mindset about health, not weight loss.

In other news, I'm just trying to stay even. I've noticed that I ebb and flow, and sometimes when I'm not positive I know what to do to get there, but often can't motivate myself. This morning I looked up Caitlin's post that mentions a link to learn to do the Sun Salutation. I have done yoga on and off and thought it would be a good way to start my day, so today I did a couple of them. I'm tight in the morning! I'm going to go for a walk in a few minutes, then do some work this morning.

I am happy to be alive. I am happy to be coming through this journey - when I look back at where I was even a year ago, I'm amazed by how much my mental clarity has improved, how much my point of view on life has changed. Things are good:)

What are you doing for Labor Day?