Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Day One, Can I Do It?

I am SO. SICK. OF. DIETING. I don't just mean the dieting where I'm on a certain program or counting every calorie, I mean the way I obsess about losing weight, my body, whether or not I should eat peanut butter, if I should allow myself to eat chocolate, if I can eat after 8 pm, if I should be able to have a glass of wine with dinner, what my jean size is, why I don't look like that girl on TV, it's all too damn much!

So I've decided to give up dieting. For a year. I am so exhausted by what I've put myself through over the years, and I'm ready for a break. Unfortunately, I've tried to give up dieting before, and I always fall back into the trap, so I am hoping that blogging about it will keep me in line.

This is not going to be a food blog. Though I may occasionally take pictures of something I ate, or talk about it, I'm not here to track every single thing I put in my mouth. I'm hear to talk about the reasons I diet, and why I think we all are constantly trying to improve our bodies. I hope other women (and men!) can relate and perhaps will look at their own eating and exercising habits, too.

So, more about me. I'm almost 30. I'm within the healthy range of weights for my height, but I'm at the very top end. I've been 20 pounds thinner but also 25 pounds heavier. I exercise almost every day, love to eat a mostly healthy diet, and have struggled with emotional and binge eating for the last 3 or 4 years. I have a good life and a partner who loves me, yet I can't let go of the idea that I need to lose those 20 pounds I gained a few years ago.

Truth be told, I weigh less now than I did in high school, by maybe 5 pounds. I'm not fat. But I'm not thin. I'm not like so many women I see on TV. But I want to let this all go. It's torture to worry about food every single day. I want to go for a year without dieting.

So what does that mean to me? For me, no dieting means:
  • Absolutely no counting calories
  • No restricting food groups (with the exception of meat and fish, I've been a vegetarian for many, many years)
  • No following ANY eating plan (sometimes I go low fat, sometimes I go vegan, sometimes I eat only at certain times...all with the intention of losing weight. No more!)
  • No measuring in attempt to control my food intake
Ideally, I'd like to get to a place where I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. I want a healthy relationship with food and my body. I can see it, and at times I've felt it, but as long as I keep telling myself, "You're too fat. You have to lose weight", I am going to continue to limit my potential.

I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to love myself as I am and stop trying to force myself to shed pounds. At least for a year, anyways.

Have you given up dieting? Does it ever sneak back up on you?


  1. I am very excited about your blog! I don't consider what I do a "diet". I am just changing my eating habits by choosing healthy options and become more active by trying all different types of exercise.

  2. Sounds like a great idea! Very liberating for you, I'm sure. I also just started a blog, so it's nice to see a fellow newbie. Good luck!

  3. Hi guys, thanks so much for your comments! I hope having a blog helps keep me accountable so I don't fall back into the hole that is a diet plan!

  4. Wow, I'm so glad I found this blog on the first day you posted! I hope my blog can help you along your journey. :D I believe you can do this!

  5. Have you read the book Intuitive Eating? If not, I highly highly recommend it.

  6. Very very commendable. I wish i could join you in your pursuit. I've often wished the same thing. I'm finding much more balance now, but having lost almost 100 pounds I'm too scared to stop the countin' the cals :-D

    I also just just just began a blog myself so we're starting at exactly the same time :-D I even have a post called "Why Be Normal"- you might want to check it out.

    It sounds like you're ready to make that change and who knows maybe I'll follow in your footsteps!

    I'm very excited to check back with you and see how you are doing.

  7. Hi there,

    I thought you might find this interesting. I had set out these goals in my super-secret blog that I used to use as a "diary"...and they are not terribly dissimilar to yours.

    Here they are...

    To be able to eat oil without guilt

    To be able to go to a restaurant and not modify anything

    To rid myself the dependency on my blender-especially for travel

    To rid myself all the security blankets of food that I carry with me at all times

    To free up time spent obsessing over food

    To not be a slave to my hunger

    To be able to order Pasta or other "carbs" without guilt

    To be able to have a baked item at a coffee shop without guilt

    To strike a balance between healthy eating and eating for pleasure

    To continue to enjoy exercise

    To stay slim and lean while achieving everything else on this list

    To be able to eat enjoyable food

    To ditch the food diary

    To eat like a normal person

    To be free of my Heart Rate Monitor Data

    To be free of weighing and measuring food

    To be free of counting exercise and food calories

  8. OMG, Sorry, I didn't know it would hog up the whole page :-O whoops!