This afternoon I was snacking, picking, etc. I started to feel guilty. I started to think, "How am I ever going to change my habits and emotional eating patterns?? I always fail! I keep doing this over and over again!" Then I stopped. That way of thinking is not helpful to me and does not feel good!
So I wrote in my journal as if it was my first day on earth. I was thankful to be alive. I was thankful to have this body that can walk, and run, and taste, and smell, and see. I'm thankful to have a beating heart, a thinking mind (sometimes), and plenty of skills. If today was my first day on earth and I looked at my body and thought, "I'd like to lose 20 pounds", it wouldn't be overwhelming. It would simply be something I wanted to accomplish.
I'm trying to look at my journey as something that is easily attainable; like this really is the first day on the journey. All the other stuff that happened has no bearing on what happens today or in the future unless I let it have a bearing. And, admittedly, that's what I've been doing. And that's why today I wrote as if I was brand new. Nothing from last week, or last month, or last year matters. None of that exists. Only in my mind.
I am flipping the switch. My brain is filled with light and hope. I expect to reach my goals. It might take consistent dedication to change the way I think about this, but I'm willing to do it. This will work.
In unrelated news, the boy and I got extended cable yesterday, we've had the plain old cable with ten channels for YEARS now. Who knew there was so much crap on TV...crap that I love. Oh, the Kardashians. Oh, Cribs. Oh, child stars of yesteryear. This might be a problem....