Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Wow. That's all I can say. I totally disappeared, and with good reason - I put myself on another diet. This time I had myself convinced that it was the best possible way for me to eat, that it was incredibly healthy, that I could eat that way permanently.

I lasted about a week. And yes, it was very healthy, it was a "good" way to eat, and for a while it was easy. But then the temptations came. And I kept telling myself no. And then when I finally did give in to temptation...let's just say it's the same old story. I say I want to stop the dieting/binging cycle, but then I just do it to myself all over again!

I wasn't hungry at all during the "healthy" week, but the diet I was doing was very restrictive - lots of things I couldn't eat. The plan is supposed to be incredibly healthy and reverse heart disease and keep a non diseased heart healthy. You know what, though? I don't have heart disease. I have disordered eating.

I'm here again because I want freedom. If I want freedom that means NO DIETING. That means no restricting myself. I can't tell you how many times I've done this to myself over and over and over again. So now I'm starting again. I need to keep writing if I put myself on a diet, not back away and avoid facing the fact that I'm not doing what I said I'd do. So, am I back on day one? My goal was to go a year without dieting, so I guess that's exactly where I am.

I think I should pick up the copy of Intuitive Eating from the library again. I've read it twice already, but I think it would come in handy.


  1. I've been so tempted to go back to a diet, too. Everyone keeps telling me to give it time and it will become easier to eat intuitively, but boy is it HARD to be patient...

  2. Aw, I was wondering where you went. In my opinion, at least you came back! I know most people would have just given up, but you seem to have tons of willpower. Good luck!

  3. I would love to say something profound but nothing is coming to mind. I am on a similar journey. Glad you're back.

  4. i was wondering where you went too...i have that book for awhile but haven't read it yet.

  5. Glad you're back! I checked every day for a while!

    You know, Intuitive eating is a good book. you've read it twice now- has it helped? my theory is that you have to really be ready to change your life- and I don't mean go on a diet obviously. So no amount of reading can help that.

    My advice: check out Angela's letter to her former self on It's about accepting yourself as you are today. sounds hoaky, but once you do it, then you realize that you are worth treating yourself better. Then things can fall into place. Sounds easy. It's not. But that's my advice. Hope it helps.