Wow. That's all I can say. I totally disappeared, and with good reason - I put myself on another diet. This time I had myself convinced that it was the best possible way for me to eat, that it was incredibly healthy, that I could eat that way permanently.
I lasted about a week. And yes, it was very healthy, it was a "good" way to eat, and for a while it was easy. But then the temptations came. And I kept telling myself no. And then when I finally did give in to temptation...let's just say it's the same old story. I say I want to stop the dieting/binging cycle, but then I just do it to myself all over again!
I wasn't hungry at all during the "healthy" week, but the diet I was doing was very restrictive - lots of things I couldn't eat. The plan is supposed to be incredibly healthy and reverse heart disease and keep a non diseased heart healthy. You know what, though? I don't have heart disease. I have disordered eating.
I'm here again because I want freedom. If I want freedom that means NO DIETING. That means no restricting myself. I can't tell you how many times I've done this to myself over and over and over again. So now I'm starting again. I need to keep writing if I put myself on a diet, not back away and avoid facing the fact that I'm not doing what I said I'd do. So, am I back on day one? My goal was to go a year without dieting, so I guess that's exactly where I am.
I think I should pick up the copy of Intuitive Eating from the library again. I've read it twice already, but I think it would come in handy.
Those Summer Nights
18 hours ago